In line with the advice from the Scottish government for individuals who, like my husband, fall into the most vulnerable category, we are still shielding, but gradually the restrictions are lifting, and perhaps at the end of July we will be advised that we can emerge. It might be that in August my children can return to school and nursery and I will be able to return to my job in a supermarket. But it might be that we will have to continue playing it safe yet. We are watching the reports each day, noting the figures, which in the last few days have risen slightly. It's difficult, unsettling being in the unknown, mentally preparing for a possible return to previous routines, and yet not really knowing if it will happen yet.
I am anxious about the transition back into work and the school run. In some ways I feel like I've lost a part of myself, the part that has a place in my community, my work place, the outside world. I've been away so long that I've almost forgotten who I am away from home and feel a strange sort of detachment to it all. Returning to old routines will be a process of rediscovering myself and fitting in again.
Perhaps it will be easy. Perhaps it will be as though I've never been away. But at the same time, it's not just me that's changed, but the whole world around me. I haven't been able to experience this new world firsthand, when others have been living in it for the last four months, so it's going to take some adaptation.
The hardest part is not knowing if it will happen yet, or whether we will stall for a further few weeks, gradually increasing the detachment I feel towards my former lifestyle and making the rehabilitation process even harder. I can only wait and see, and continue to utilise this time I've been granted.
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